Journal Entry 10~26 April 2010
This post took a little longer to think through and finish than I thought it would.
I have been through hell and back in my life. Some of it was self inflicted, other just happened. But through it all I learned many valuable lessons:
1. What a marriage takes.
2. What I want in my partner.
3. How to be a mom and that I am a darn good one.
4. How to be present in all aspects of life.
5. Just because you really love someone, doesn't mean they will love you back.
6. And that is okay.
7. Teamwork and conversation are key to any lasting marriage/romantic relationship.
8. Ladies need standards. (Most men don't get benefits from a job right away, why should he get intimate benefits from you without a commitment??)
9. I am worth it.
10. God doesn't just like me, He pursues me with endless passion.
11. I can sing.
12. I am beautiful.
13. Love knows no distance, because it could always be worse.
14. My body is killer; how many women with two kids are their pre-children size?
15. My faith in God is solid.
16. My love language(s) are physical touch and words of affirmation.
17. My trials have not destroyed my faith in lasting love.
18. I believe someone will have lasting love for me.
19. I am a great financial manager.
20. My funny bone isn't gone. Only the people that know me well see it.
21. I can manage a household.
22. I know more about football and baseball than I let on.
23. My life doesn't stop just because I am a single parent.
24. I am smarter than I let on.
25. My intuition is right more often than not.
The list goes on and on. Basically what it comes down to is that my tough lessons haven't been easy. I don't know why I had to go through them, but what I do know is that those lessons have refined me into the godly woman I am today. I love people where they are and for who they are.
To quote my friend, "Your past and your present situation are what make you able to accept/overlook other peoples' pasts and situations and love them for who they are."
Compassion is born out of personal pain.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Ten Day Challenge-Day 9
Journal Entry 9~25 April 2010
My eyes are beautiful. They are an awesome light greenish/blue color, like when you are on the beach in the islands where the water is clear, when I am happy. When I am sad, or feeling a little lost they turn a blue-grey color. And when I am content, they are as blue as the noon day sky. I am not afraid to look people in the eye when talking to them. You can tell a lot about a person by looking in their eyes. I love the little insights I gain.
My eyes are beautiful. They are an awesome light greenish/blue color, like when you are on the beach in the islands where the water is clear, when I am happy. When I am sad, or feeling a little lost they turn a blue-grey color. And when I am content, they are as blue as the noon day sky. I am not afraid to look people in the eye when talking to them. You can tell a lot about a person by looking in their eyes. I love the little insights I gain.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Ten Day Challenge-Day 8!
Journal Entry 8~24 April 2010
I have a strong faith. Sometimes it wavers a little, but I never lose it. Sometimes it is difficult keeping it with all that has happened in my life, but it is through my Lord and Saviour I wake up every morning praising Him. I have seen some ugly storms in my life, but I know that God saw me through them and will use them for His glory and they will continue to refine me into the woman He wants me to become. The present storms and those to come will be weathered in His hands and He will see me through. My faith is something I have to offer. Some examples: I have faith that things will get better, faith that people are better, faith that relationships won't always fail, faith that my sons will grow up and be honest Godly men, and faith that God will have mercy on me for my shortcomings.
I have a strong faith. Sometimes it wavers a little, but I never lose it. Sometimes it is difficult keeping it with all that has happened in my life, but it is through my Lord and Saviour I wake up every morning praising Him. I have seen some ugly storms in my life, but I know that God saw me through them and will use them for His glory and they will continue to refine me into the woman He wants me to become. The present storms and those to come will be weathered in His hands and He will see me through. My faith is something I have to offer. Some examples: I have faith that things will get better, faith that people are better, faith that relationships won't always fail, faith that my sons will grow up and be honest Godly men, and faith that God will have mercy on me for my shortcomings.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Ten Day Challene-Day 7! Woot Woot!
Journal Entry 7~23 April 2010
My feet, they look so sweet. You know I got to tweet, to all peeps 'bout my cute feet. Nails be painted, no I ain't playin. Bright pink t'night, is what I be rock'n. Crusty heels, they be found ev'ry where, but they ain't found here. Smooth baby, like baby's bottom. C'mon on and feel 'em, you just might like it, like you like my hair. But before you touch my hair, before you touch my feet, heed this warn'n~it might get chronic. Uhh, My feet, mmm, they are so sweet. You know I got to tweet, to all peeps 'bout my cute feet....
My feet, they look so sweet. You know I got to tweet, to all peeps 'bout my cute feet. Nails be painted, no I ain't playin. Bright pink t'night, is what I be rock'n. Crusty heels, they be found ev'ry where, but they ain't found here. Smooth baby, like baby's bottom. C'mon on and feel 'em, you just might like it, like you like my hair. But before you touch my hair, before you touch my feet, heed this warn'n~it might get chronic. Uhh, My feet, mmm, they are so sweet. You know I got to tweet, to all peeps 'bout my cute feet....
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Ten Day Challenge-Day 6
Journal Entry 6~22 April 2010
I am a financial wizard. While married (two years), living on only one income, 40k+ in debt was paid off. Since splitting/divorcing(two years), I have paid off over 18k+ in debt by myself. Did I mention I was off for 12 weeks after Benjamin was born WITHOUT pay? Hmmmm, I think mommy knows her way around the finance world. Some luck man will have money coming out his ears with me as a partner.
I am a financial wizard. While married (two years), living on only one income, 40k+ in debt was paid off. Since splitting/divorcing(two years), I have paid off over 18k+ in debt by myself. Did I mention I was off for 12 weeks after Benjamin was born WITHOUT pay? Hmmmm, I think mommy knows her way around the finance world. Some luck man will have money coming out his ears with me as a partner.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Ten Day Challenge-Day 5
Journal Entry 5~21 April 2010
Have my act together. My education is complete, I have a good job, I am flexible and adjust to situations well, my bills are paid on time, my children are freaking awesome and I am a devout Christian. I may be a single mom, but my life is not a mess. I have it together and know how to keep it together. I am a team player.
Have my act together. My education is complete, I have a good job, I am flexible and adjust to situations well, my bills are paid on time, my children are freaking awesome and I am a devout Christian. I may be a single mom, but my life is not a mess. I have it together and know how to keep it together. I am a team player.
Ten Day Challenge-Day 4
Journal Entry 4~20 April 2010
I love my hair! The color is all natural, blonde streaks and all were designed and placed by God. It is curly if I desire it to be so, I can let it wave, or straighten it. It begs to be touched. It is the rarest of all hair colors and I am blessed to wear it every day! There are other genetic positives that come with having natural red hair. I LOVE MY HAIR! Just don't touch it...you might find it is an addiction.
I love my hair! The color is all natural, blonde streaks and all were designed and placed by God. It is curly if I desire it to be so, I can let it wave, or straighten it. It begs to be touched. It is the rarest of all hair colors and I am blessed to wear it every day! There are other genetic positives that come with having natural red hair. I LOVE MY HAIR! Just don't touch it...you might find it is an addiction.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Ten Day Challenge-Day 3
Journal Entry 3~19 April 2010
I can cook. Many of the things I cook come from memory, others come from cookbooks. But the simple fact is that I can cook. No one will go away hungry from my table. If they do, they are too pick with what they eat. My favorite things to cook are those that are new to me. I like the challenge of getting it right and a job well done when it tastes divine. I also love taking recipes and perfecting them. Just because it is in a cookbook doesn't mean it causes taste buds to dance. Day three of what I have going for me: I can cook.
I can cook. Many of the things I cook come from memory, others come from cookbooks. But the simple fact is that I can cook. No one will go away hungry from my table. If they do, they are too pick with what they eat. My favorite things to cook are those that are new to me. I like the challenge of getting it right and a job well done when it tastes divine. I also love taking recipes and perfecting them. Just because it is in a cookbook doesn't mean it causes taste buds to dance. Day three of what I have going for me: I can cook.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Ten Day Challege 2
Journal Entry 2~18 April 2010
Today is a sad day. Nathanael asked about twenty time to see and talk to a man that I dated. Each time I would reply with a "No" or "Not today." Nathanael would reply each time with a sad deflated, "Oh. He doesn't love you anymore Mama?" The last time he asked I expected the same reply, but instead I got a tear filled, "Oh. He doesn't love us anymore? That's so sad because I so love him." My heart is breaking for my son. I knew I was hurting from the breakup, but didn't know he was too.
I learned today that I have a great love to offer. My love is not broken or lost, it is very much alive and real. Not everyone deserves my love and not everyone I love wants to be loved by me. But it is real, it is deep, and it is lasting. It really is better to love and lose than to never have known real love. The pain lets me know it was real, that I am alive, and allows for compassion to grow within me. I regret a lot of things I have done for love and in the name of love BUT I do not regret loving. Pure love is a basic human need, never to be tainted by regret.
Today is a sad day. Nathanael asked about twenty time to see and talk to a man that I dated. Each time I would reply with a "No" or "Not today." Nathanael would reply each time with a sad deflated, "Oh. He doesn't love you anymore Mama?" The last time he asked I expected the same reply, but instead I got a tear filled, "Oh. He doesn't love us anymore? That's so sad because I so love him." My heart is breaking for my son. I knew I was hurting from the breakup, but didn't know he was too.
I learned today that I have a great love to offer. My love is not broken or lost, it is very much alive and real. Not everyone deserves my love and not everyone I love wants to be loved by me. But it is real, it is deep, and it is lasting. It really is better to love and lose than to never have known real love. The pain lets me know it was real, that I am alive, and allows for compassion to grow within me. I regret a lot of things I have done for love and in the name of love BUT I do not regret loving. Pure love is a basic human need, never to be tainted by regret.
Ten Day Challenge
Yesterday marked the beginning of a journey. This might be a little painful at times, but in the end I hope to have gained insight that will lead me to better things in my life and a deeper connection to God.
Journal Entry 1~17 April 2010
My friend asked, actually told, me to think long and hard about what I have been through, how it shaped me, and what I have to offer a man ~anyone really~ and focus on seeing myself as a beautiful woman and a real catch. I said I would try. So, for the next ten days I will do just that. Negativity is not welcome and I may extend the time if need be. I doubt there will be a need, but...no negativity. This may be harder than I thought. Let's start with an easy one.
My freckles are beautiful. A a child I was teased to tears about my freckles. As an adult I have made peace with them and love the personality they add. No Plain Jane skin here. I have been kissed thousands of times by my heavenly Father and His angels. They are like the "X" on a treasure map, except I have many "X's" to be kissed and treasured. Some man is going to need a lifetime to find all of my "X's". A thousand places to kiss and memorize the path to. I love my freckles!
Journal Entry 1~17 April 2010
My friend asked, actually told, me to think long and hard about what I have been through, how it shaped me, and what I have to offer a man ~anyone really~ and focus on seeing myself as a beautiful woman and a real catch. I said I would try. So, for the next ten days I will do just that. Negativity is not welcome and I may extend the time if need be. I doubt there will be a need, but...no negativity. This may be harder than I thought. Let's start with an easy one.
My freckles are beautiful. A a child I was teased to tears about my freckles. As an adult I have made peace with them and love the personality they add. No Plain Jane skin here. I have been kissed thousands of times by my heavenly Father and His angels. They are like the "X" on a treasure map, except I have many "X's" to be kissed and treasured. Some man is going to need a lifetime to find all of my "X's". A thousand places to kiss and memorize the path to. I love my freckles!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Another Good Shopping Day
Had a few things to get at the store. Ended up with some good deals; and people wonder how I live on my limited income...not that hard!
Which shopping deal is better??
Contour meter about $16 plus some change after tax... (donated to charity)
Shampoo and contact solution about $16 plus some change after tax...
OR
All of this for $16.68? Originally $93.59! That's about 82% savings!
Yeah, I think it was a good trip. Not as cheap as usual, but most items I use on a regular basis and needed to purchase soon.
Which shopping deal is better??
Contour meter about $16 plus some change after tax... (donated to charity)
Shampoo and contact solution about $16 plus some change after tax...
OR
All of this for $16.68? Originally $93.59! That's about 82% savings!
Yeah, I think it was a good trip. Not as cheap as usual, but most items I use on a regular basis and needed to purchase soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
